She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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