Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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