My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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