xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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