Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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