why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
