Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
