I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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