Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
