well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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