What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
