oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize