This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize