Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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