Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im part way to drunk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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