I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
