i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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