she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
