You just made me feel so damn special
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize