she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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