You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
