Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
