haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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