is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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