I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
