Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
