TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
