I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
