I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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