Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
