Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
