onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize