she was so not down for the gang bang
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
