God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
