Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
