We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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