the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
