if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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