im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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