As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
