Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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