Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
