Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
