last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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