direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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