I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
