Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
