If that was your dad, he is hot
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
