I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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