they need to just BURY HIM!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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