how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
