Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
