I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
