i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
