My hand turned me down
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My pussy is not your playground.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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