so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
