awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
