HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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