One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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