Porn is love you can see.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
