I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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