I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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