Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
